Readers close to me like to joke that my reviews are novellas. I would usually respond that they don’t know what
long is, but this time I’m just going to say that I think this one is worth checking out, for the game if not for the writing. Enjoy!
Two and 1/3 pages, MS Word, 12-pt. Times New Roman. For the record.
Condemned: Criminal Origins Review: Trippin’ Somethin’ Scary
It was back in the fall of 2006 when little Pat Trouba, a freshman in college but fresh out of friends or much homework, completed his first experience with FEAR (First Encounter Assault Recon), Monolith’s famous first-person shooter. It enveloped him curious kind of bliss; he was terribly spooked out, but it was one of those games that made him happy to be a gamer. To little Pat, FEAR (because punctuated acronyms are so 20th century) set the bar for every piece of media that claimed to be proficient at the art of spine-tingling.
Little did Pat know, Monolith released another game about a month after FEAR. However, it wouldn’t be until 2009, when Pat had friends and all too much homework, that he experienced Condemned: Criminal Origins. Did Condemned hold a flickery candle to FEAR, which had on its side nostalgia and the reverence of a landmark experience? I’m… prepared to say it did.
Condemned follows the struggle of FBI agent Ethan Thomas, who makes a living peering under dark rocks in hopes of finding serial killers. Ethan, however, is about to have a very bad day. A criminal on the run takes his gun and kills to police officers with it. The police know that a gun couldn’t have possibly been fired by anyone but its owner, so Ethan goes rogue, tracking down the killer so he can prove he isn’t such a rogue after all. Ethan is assisted by Rosa, a helpful lady in forensics who, like Ethan, is not a supermodel (smell that? It’s refreshing realism. Ahhhh…).
Don't lose your, um, head. Sorry.
Condemned is a strange game where many things that would be considered bad design decisions elsewhere are surprisingly functional. For starters, many of the environments feel the same. They’re not the same, but they all almost always dilapidated and dark. Either daylight doesn’t exist in Ethan’s city, or he is a very motivated individual (it’s a very good thing your flashlight’s batteries never run out, because it will be dark, all the time). The levels are trying their hardest to decay, and they hired a tornado to do the interior design. I noticed this, thought briefly about it, decided it wasn’t polluting the game’s atmosphere (even adding to it), and played on.
I could complain about Ethan the slowpoke. He steps slowly and deliberately, brandishing the pipe to whatever plumbing system he just ruined. The only way to get him to giddy-up is to click down the movement stick, but that runs out soon, and Ethan doesn’t exactly haul it Call of Duty 4 style. I noticed this, thought briefly about it, decided that this is exactly the way someone in Ethan’s position would move (that is, with caution), and played on.
Some might take issue with Condemned’s evidence collection system. Well, actually, I might too. For a game as realistic as Condemned, Ethan has an obvious case of Link’s syndrome from the beginning. Link’s syndrome, a disorder I was proud to diagnose myself, is the acquisition of many large items and tools, too numerous to all be kept on the character’s person as he is displayed. In Condemned, Ethan will pull out several large pieces of equipment for the collection of evidence on-site. The man doesn’t even carry a backpack. It’s not a game killer by any means, it just pushes the player’s suspension of disbelief a bit too hard.
What will bog the game down from time to time is the evidence collection process itself. Monolith doesn’t leave it to you to be the forensics expert. Upon entering a scene, the player presses a button to pull out a predetermined tool, and once you’ve found the different-colored spots or whatever, you press the button again to pull out the predetermined collection tool. Then the data is sent to Rosa via cell phone for analysis. It’s a more scripted, less organic process. I noticed this, thought about it, decided it wasn’t a deal breaker (and that, thanks to CSI, this is how we solve mysteries in the 21st century), and played on.
Ugh. I hate New Balance.
Others might not find the combat system to their taste… and they would be crazy.
Combat is simple. The right trigger whacks angry hobos with whatever set piece you took from the environment. The left trigger deflects hobo flailings when used timely. Oh, and left bumper to taser (I’ll show you police brutality!).
Combat is deep. Angry hobos aren’t the most intelligent of enemies, but their moves (and your weapons) vary enough that you’re still going to have to pay attention. This may not be something you master after a couple fights. Some go down after one hit, but nothing says they have to come one at a time…
And yes, there are guns. If you’re lucky. This may be the aspect of Condemned that I admire most: its handling of firearms. Condemned believes that, far from being stapled to your hand as in every other first-person game, guns are a luxury. To acquire one is to receive a blessing from Monolith, and don’t count on having it long. You do not have a button to reload, you have a button to check how much ammo you have left. Want to melee? You may flip the gun around, like someone who isn’t wearing performance-enhancing armor, and shotgun-whip your enemies. Welcome to survival horror.
I, um, just thought you needed some plumbing help...
But here’s the important question: is it scary? I would definitely say yes, though since playing Dead Space I’ve come to think that maybe scariness is in the eye of the boot-quakers themselves. The instances of scariness aren’t pure gore, they aren’t derived from Ethan’s possible failure and death, they don’t even really involve your average vengeful spirits. Ethan gets to deal with hallucinations. Don’t think pink elephants in the sky or smelling the color nine (thanks Chris Rice!). Sometimes it’s premonitions, but other times it’s very clear that evil is after Ethan, something stronger than a killer or two. If that sounds scary to you, cool. It was often terrifying to me.
Then there was the very last playable moment in the game, and I have to talk about this, however shoehorned into the review it seems, because it was a moral choice. It was a moral choice, and the player makes it in the manner some of the most important moral choices are made: right now. The game gives you five seconds. It happened so fast, I almost couldn’t appreciate what had just happened. I’m sorry, but did any other reviewer notice this when it came out in 2005? Were any game developers paying attention? This could’ve been the next big step in games morality, but between Knights of the Old Republic and inFamous, the average player would think that games morality was still polarized into alignments as far from each other as the north is from the south. I’m not sure Monolith knew what they had just made. The way events played out, it looks like it might not have mattered what you chose. But it’s a shame; I feel like I got a glimpse of a future that never arrived.
Condemned is a game to behold. I really wonder if other game makers have played this and taken notice of its characteristics, the things that it does. I think there are things to be learned. But I just play here, so I’ll just say that it comes highly recommended.
Notes
-Voice acting excellent, Rosa’s voice oddly doesn’t match her character model.
-No apparent reason for hobos as enemies, but the game would be boring without them.
